I can’t lie, this mom business is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s a challenge to teach her proper behavior (no, we don’t leave the table until everyone’s done…) and it’s a challenge to do basic things she doesn’t want to do (yes, bathing IS a necessity). I was telling Whit the other day that I don’t think my skin is thick enough to be a mom. I just have such a hard time with the screaming. We have a screamer. No. More like a shrieker. I’ll often have to put her down for bed and then hide and cry.
I had been feeling like a very subpar mom. I was doing everything I thought I ought to do as far as being a mom, but it just seemed like the mother-daughter relationship was severely lacking. I tried to get closer but she always pushed me away and wanted dad. Something was wrong and I didn’t know what to do.
I have a little friend that I text each morning to remind her to read the scriptures and say her prayers and I confidently added that if she asked a question in prayer then she’d hear her answer in the scriptures. After I sent it I wondered if I really believed it. I mean, I do believe it, but what question could I ask? after a lot of thought I couldn’t think of a single question to help me through my troubles. So in prayer I just asked God what question I should ask. Just as I promised my friend it would happen, my answer came in the scriptures. I was told to ask what I should speak about that night. I had already planned my talk, their theme was “Look Up” but I asked anyway in a second prayer. Sure enough, my answer came as I read more scriptures.
I felt I was still supposed to speak about Looking Up to the Savior, but how, specifically, to do it was what my answer was. I felt we should look up during our times of immediate trouble through prayer – a quick prayer because, dangit, sometimes those 2-year-olds don’t give you time to regroup. I felt we should look up through Music – playing good, uplifting music can help lessen the stress and make the day smoother and more fun. And I felt we should look up through smiling. There’s a scripture- 2 Nephi 9:39 where it says “spiritually minded is life eternal” S.M.I.L.E. and smiling through hard times eases everyone else’s stress, thus easing our own 🙂
My talk went great, I felt edified with this new formula for less stress and more fun in my home and with my daughter. It has been a few weeks and I haveI wanted to come up with an acronym to help the audience remember to look up through pprayer, music, and smiling, but I thought theming a talk about PMS might not be the best idea…though definitely memorable.