I am pretty positive and upbeat most of the time, but I also consider myself a realist. I can recognize that certain situations and circumstances aren’t preferred and identify the changes that could and should be made to make them better. However, as a realist I can see that sometimes you just can’t change things so I’m able to move on and smile through it anyway.
But I think that maybe my “identifying” the things that can change has decreased my ability to stay positive and has allowed some room for me to behave a little bit more negatively lately.
I’ve felt a little bit more down and a little bit more of a downer than normal lately. I’m not being pessimistic, I’m just simply being realistic and identifying the goods and bads of situations. I’m quick to notice who can and should fix things. Maybe it’s pregnancy, maybe it’s fatigue. Maybe it’s both. But in any case I’ve been wanting to stop.
I mean, really, what good is it doing my serenity to identify how things can be improved? Why can’t I just enjoy the things as they are – imperfect and everything? I’ve been wanting to change but not knowing just how to do it. I mean, how does someone act who can see the whole imperfect scenario, be able to identify the changes for improvement, but still remain purely positive?
Well I learned how this is done the other day. I took my daughter, Zula, to the park. It was an unusually warm November day and there were many moms and kids scattered everywhere. We raced to the swings – Zula’s favorite – and I pushed her. As I did, I began to overhear the conversation between two moms next to me – a blonde one and a burnette one.
Blonde mom: We leave for our vacation in a couple days. I am so not ready.
(I would have responded to her readiness and asked if I could help)
Burnette: That’s right, I am so excited for you! It’s your whole family, right?
Blonde: Yeah. My dad has planned out everything, he wouldn’t even take suggestions for what we should do.
(I would have commented on him not taking suggestions and agreed with her that it was kind of a bummer to not have a say in what you do each day)
Burnette: That is great, now you don’t have to worry about it and can go relax and have fun! I can’t wait to hear all about it!
That was about it. A short, sweet conversation with a regular person who had a few items she recognized could have been improved and wanted to maybe discuss them…but her listener was so amazingly positive it was as if she didn’t hear anything except the great things about the trip. Both girls’ tones are missing from the written dialogue, but it was a friendly conversation, not a negative downer speaking with a peppy upper. It was with regular voices and regular conversation. I wouldn’t have said the blonde as a pessimist, just someone identifying the details of the situation. And I identified with her language and how she talked. But my new goal is to become just like the burnette mom and forget the small, unchangeable (at least on my end) details of the situations and point out the positives in my life and the lives of others.
I told the burnette how positive she was, I didn’t go into details. I just told her she was a neat person to be near, even though we hadn’t talked. She really just felt good to be standing by. She was quick to thank me, though I’m not sure she realizes how different she is from others. I don’t know her name, but I do know she’s my new role model.